Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 4
Myths about Interpersonal Effectiveness
Everybody has some worries about standing up for themselves expressing opinions and saying no. Some of these worries are based on myths about interpersonal behavior.
These techniques are called "cognitive modification" and can be really useful in helping people to do things that they really want to do, but are afraid to do.
Challenging Myths about Interpersonal Effectiveness
1. I can't stand it if someone gets upset with me.
2. If they say no, it will kill me.
3. I don't deserve to get what I want or need.
4. If I make a request, this will show that I am a weak person.
5. I must be really inadequate if I can't fix this myself.
6. I have to know whether a person is going to say yes before I make a request.
7. Making a request is a really pushy (bad, self-centered, selfish, unchristian) thing to do.
8. It doesn't make any difference; I don't care really.
9. Obviously, the problem is just in my head. If I would just think differently I wouldn't have to bother everybody else.
10. This is catastrophe (is really bad, is terrible, is driving me crazy, will destroy me, is a disaster)
11. Saying no to a request is always a selfish thing to do.
12. I should be willing to sacrifice my own needs for others.
13. write your own statements, and come up with a challenge statement.