Feeling Good

Feeling Good is Unusual

This might sound crazy but I'm finding that I'm finally starting to feel better and I find myself feeling bad about feeling good.

I have experienced feeling bad about feeling good as well. But I'm also noticing that I'm gradually becoming more and more accustomed to feeling good and sometimes it even feels good to feel good. In fact, I try to really be mindful of it - to relish it! Now there's a concept.

I think the thing that really made a difference is that I quit working in corporate environments. I decided I wasn't getting any younger and that I wanted to commit myself to do what has always been  important to me, which is writing. I read the book "The Way of the Peaceful Warrior" and was inspired to maintain a daily meditation practice, learn yoga (though I only do it once or twice a week), and change my diet. I continued to pay more and more attention to the input I allow in my life and cut down on violent TV, violent books, obsession with news and politics, and I discontinued contact with people that were harmful to me (like an entire side of my family).

This does not mean that I feel good all the time, I've just become more accustomed to feeling good. There is hope. I've learned to take each day as a new one and forgive myself for mistakes and work on believing in myself for my capability.

I believe that conscientious use of DBT is the framework upon which I am able to follow through. If I'm true to the skills, I'm bound to feel better and to feel better about feeling better.

- Lisa

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