Crisis Surival Video Part 6

Part Six: Conclusion

The great thing about self soothing is that not only can it make a crisis a lot more survivable - it gets you through really tough times.  But, if you can get self soothing into your life on a pretty regular basis, it can actually prevent crisis.  Because it makes you stronger.  Makes you less vulnerable. You're better able to cope with life. 

Now, there's some problems with these. Self soothing can be on the complicated side. And the ordinarily... one of two problems.  Either you already know how to self soothe.  Problem with you is that self sooth too much. Or, you could be a person who never self soothes. You can't do it.

So let's start with the person who it's too easy for.  Some people self soothe all the time, in fact, that's their problem. They are always soothing themselves - that's how they get into the crisis in the first place. So if you're that kind of person, you already know these skills. You might want to think about should you be doing self soothing a little bit less. On the other hand, some people who soothe too much can't do it when they're in a crisis. They can only do it when they're not in a crisis.  Ask yourself if you're that kind of person.  If you are, then you're going to want to practice self soothing in the middle of crisis. 

Now, what if you're the other kind of person?  You know I can't begin to tell you the people that I have worked with who simply can not do this.  They say, 'what, me? Me?  Soothe myself?  I can't do that!'  Often they say, 'Look, I don't deserve it.' Or, they say, 'Listen, why would I do that? I feel worse.  I feel guilty.  I feel ashamed. I'm not going to do it.'  If you're that kind of person, you need to learn to self soothe.  Now, if you feel more ashamed or guilty when you soothe yourself in a crisis, don't do it in a crisis.  Do it when you're not in a crisis.  You just have to start practicing self soothing. 

The idea is to get to the point where you really get soothed.  But, it's an essential skill. Every single one of us has to be able to soothe ourselves.  So it's really important that you learn how to do it. But practice outside of crises until it starts having some positive, soothing effect. 

Those are the Self Soothing Skills.

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