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Let’s start at the very beginning. . .
I’m starting this lesson with direct quotes from Marsha’s book to provide the groundwork for the discussion.
From page 63 Core Mindfulness by Marsha Linehan:
In DBT, three primary states of mind are presented: “reasonable mind,” “emotion mind,” and “wise mind.”
A person is in “reasonable mind” when she is approaching knowledge intellectually, is thinking rationally and logically, attends to empirical facts, is planful in her behavior, focuses her attention, and is “cool” in her approach to problems.
The person is in “emotion mind” when her thinking and behavior are controlled primarily by her current emotional state. In “emotion mind,” cognitions are “hot”; reasonable, logical thinking is difficult; facts are amplified or distorted to be congruent with current affect; and the energy of behavior is also congruent with the current emotional state.
“Wise mind” is the integration of “emotion mind” and “reasonable mind.” It also goes beyond them: “Wise mind” adds intuitive knowing to emotional experiencing and logical analysis.
Mindfulness skills are the vehicles for balancing “emotion mind” and “reasonable mind” to achieve “wise mind.” There are three “what “ skills (observing, describing and participating) and three “how” skills (taking a nonjudgmental stance, focusing on one thing in the moment, and being effective).
From page 66, What is Wise Mind? by Marsha Linehan
Wise Mind is that place were reasonable mind and emotion mind overlap. It is the integration of emotion mind and reasonable mind.
Wise mind is that part of each person that can know and experience truth. It is where the person knows something to be true or valid. It is almost always quiet, It has a certain peace. It is where the person knows something in a centered way.
Wise mind is like having a heart, everyone has one, whether they experience it or not.
Wise mind is like a deep well in the ground. The water at the bottom of the well, the entire underground ocean is wise mind. But on the way down there are often trap doors that impede progress. Sometimes the trap doors are so cleverly built that you believe there is no water at the bottom of the well. The trap door may look like the bottom of the well. Perhaps it is locked and you need a key. Perhaps it is nailed shut and you need a hammer, or it is glued shut and you need a chisel.
COMMENTS
Wise mind can be an experience that you have when listening to someone else describe their behavior. In listening to them, you have that "Aha" moment where you say, "Yes, I have experienced that too. So that's why I do that. "Wise mind is sometimes experienced in the center of the body (belly) or in the center of the head, or between the eyes.
Sometimes a person can find it by following their breath in and out.
Some people experience wise mind when making a decision that they know is absolutely know is the right thing to do. They know they are in wise mind because they don't have any sense of dread or anxiety. They just "know" they are doing the right thing. There is absolutely no doubt.
Sometimes wise mind is like the calm that follows the storm, something experienced immediately following a crises or enormous chaos. It’s about suddenly getting to the heart of the matter, seeing or knowing something directly or clearly. It is grasping the whole picture when only parts were previously understood. It is "experiencing" the right choice in a dilemma, when the feeling comes from deep within rather from a current emotional state.
My Personal Notes Taken on Mindfulness in DBT Classes
Mindfulness is to be aware of what is going on within myself, switching energy (and my attention will follow).
Wise mind is a balanced place of creativity, inspiration, intuition, and letting go.
I go to wise mind so that I can switch to another state of mind.
A certain sensation occurs in wise mind – it has a quality of calm and peacefulness about the moment.
Sometimes I have to let go of emotional action temptation and use all willingness to go to a difference place so that I can anchor myself.
Mindfulness isn’t so much a change in thoughts and images as a change in awareness of thought.
The practice of mindful meditation, over time, increases concentration so that when PTSD memory images come, I can separate from them like I would with thoughts.
When the image or thought or emotion comes in, do deep breathing to stay in the moment and tell yourself that the reaction was appropriate in the actual situation but not appropriate at this moment.
After mindful concentration, if the flashback continues, go to distraction,
then radical acceptance.
Suffering is about fighting the pain. When I observe and describe the experience of the moment, suffering makes the pain seem bigger because I’m always saying, “I can’t stand this. It never goes away.” But if I stop telling myself these things and stop fighting the pain, then I could view it from a mindful perspective, without judgments. The pain comes, I acknowledge it, don’t fight it. Then the pain dissipates without suffering.
I can intervene between stimulus and response in order to enter wise mind if I practice finding wise mind using mindfulness meditation. Achieving intervention (thus changing my mind state) can become an option, a choice in the way I respond to certain situations. But if my history is such that I have no experience for alternative ways of responding, then there is no option because I have no frame of reference for it.
need to build skills to have more options.
Mindfulness can continue to build in layers. For instance: first, maybe I become mindful of the sounds around me. Then, I become mindful of the sounds and the descriptions I use to describe the sounds. So, I observe them both. Next, I may become aware that I am making judgments about the sounds. So, I observe the sound and the way my mind describes it and the judgment my mind places on it. Gradually, I learn to observe and let go, empowering my mind to choose its own course in regards to how it will react or not react to the sound.
Ultimately, what should I be mindful of? Whatever is effective.
Discussion
Using the above as a description of being in wise mind can anyone relate their own experience of wise mind?
What has it taken for you to reach wise mind? For example, sometimes a person may reach wisdom only when suddenly confronted by another person. Or someone else may say something insightful that unlocks an inner door.
What similar experiences or other examples have any of you had in experiencing wise mind?
Can you think of a situation in your life in which using this skill might have been helpful? How do you think the outcome would have been different? Can you make a plan to use it in a situation that is upcoming and might be difficult?
Exercise
Set an alarm clock for a certain period of time each day (like every hour). When the alarm goes off, check in with yourself. How are you experiencing the moment? Observe your thoughts and emotions. Don't judge them as right or wrong, just observe and describe it by writing it down. At the end of the day, do you see a pattern? Have you learned anything about yourself? No matter what the experience you had, allow yourself to let go of all that happened. Let go of the judgments. Be in the moment. What is this like for you?
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